


Going Soft

by surgicalzebra



Category: Black Panther (2018), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Belly Kink, Bucky gets comfy, M/M, Natasha loves Stucky, Steve love's Bucky's belly, Weight Gain, bucky gets a belly, steve love's bucky, stucky for life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-05-06 00:00:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14629776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/surgicalzebra/pseuds/surgicalzebra
Summary: Bucky takes some time for himself after waking up in Wakanda.  Steve likes it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, this fic was bred from kink and Infinity War denial. I just want Steve and Bucky to be happy!

Bucky knew something had happened the second Natasha walked into their yurt first. He knew things were bad when she was carrying three extra-large pizzas.  
Throwing the dish cloth over his thickened shoulder, he turned to her and asked “How bad is it this time?”

Natasha didn’t have any time to answer before the curtain moved again and Steve walked in. Rather, he hobbled in. With the sun at Steve’s back, Bucky couldn’t see much other than the crutches added to his silhouette. As Steve moved further in the bandages around his head and torso showed along with the cast on his left leg.

Bucky’s gut sank. He knew why Steve went out on missions. He got it, he really did. It’s just… he didn’t see why it had to be HIS Steve. They’d already put their lives down for the world, and it wasn’t enough. The world just tortured them back. And Bucky was done. He’d been done since he’d come out from cryo to Shuri telling him she had a treatment. 

He was tired of the hard life. Tired of the fighting. Tired of the risk. He also knew that even after the recovery Shuri was able to lead him through, he might put people at risk in the field. He couldn’t do that to his friends.

He couldn’t do that to Steve.

So he went soft. In more ways than one. 

_____

Once they had confirmed that his triggers were deactivated, the therapy he had gone through was intensive. Talking about what tortures you were put through for 70 years was not the easiest task. Often after his sessions, the doctor would take him around the country. Sometimes they went to the mountains and hiked through the foothills. Other times, they just sat in the forest.

Bucky’s favorite post-session adventures was when they walked through the capital. There were so many vendors that he never stopped at the same one twice. Except for the ice cream vendor. They just had too many flavors to try.

He never knew there were so many foods to exist. Back in his day, they had the basics and they boiled almost everything. It was bland, but it got them through. Bucky was sure that he didn’t exist on anything more than necessary while he was the Winter Soldier, thanks to Hydra, so he felt like he was learning about food all over again. And man, did it feel good.

The first time Steve came to visit between missions (aside from when Bucky woke up), Bucky had just finished a session with his doctor. They had gone to the market place and Bucky decided he wanted to try some wat. After he got a double serving, he sat down with the doc and starting chatting about random things.

After a few minutes, however, the doctor smiled and took his leave, saying something about how he had paper work to do. Bucky stared after him as he walked in the opposite direction of the labs. Bucky finally decided he didn’t care and went back to his meal. Before he had a chance to eat anymore, though, somebody stood next to his table. Looking up, Bucky saw Steve’s smiling face, with just a hint of facial hair.

“Hey Buck. What’s a guy gotta do around here to get a proper greeting?”

Standing up, Bucky practically launched himself at Steve, wrapping his arm around Steve’s neck to get as close as possible. Tilting his head up ever so slightly, he kissed Steve as if he had just come back from war- which, by the looks of him, he had. 

Steve had wrapped his arms around Bucky’s waist and was returning the kiss with the same fervor. Bringing Bucky in closer, Steve tucks his head in Bucky’s neck. “God, I’ve missed you. The field work isn’t the same without you watching my six.”

“I know. I just-“

“Bucky, its ok. I don’t know how many times I’ve got to tell you that. Coming home to you is even better than working with you. I love coming to rest with you taking care of me. I love how you’ve settled back into civilian life. I’m still not sure how you’ve managed to charm everyone around here…”

Smiling, Bucky sits back down. Gesturing to the chair across from him, he quips “Hey, if I can make a good impression on the Widow, literally the rest of the planet is no problem. When was the last time you’ve eaten? We can get more food…”

“That would be great, Buck.” Taking a deep breath and truly relaxing his stance for the first time in months, Steve sits back and watches his man get more food from the vendor. He noticed that Bucky was looking a little softer. Trying all this new food was good for him.

“Looks like you’ve put on some weight,” Steve says as Bucky sits back down. Looking at the spread of food, he continued, “is this all for me?”

Blushing, Bucky responded. “Only some of it. I’m still a little hungry.” Pushing the stew towards Steve, he made sure to add the injera to his bowl. “And I know I’ve gained some. Recovery has been slow. After sessions we go on walks or trips around the country to help offset the heaviness of my sessions. I’m almost feeling up to work-“

Putting his hand on Bucky’s, “Buck, I don’t care. You look good. Healthy. And that’s why we brought you here. I like that you look so healthy.”  
Blushing, Bucky shoved the rest of his food into his mouth. “Finish and I can take you home.”

Staring at his boyfriend for a moment more, Steve picked up his fork. “Ok Buck. There’s nothing I want more.”


	2. A Lesson in Self Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's next visit comes during a difficult time for Bucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this story was just gonna be a kink fic, but then this happened. So, maybe an actual story with some kink thrown in? With my brain, who the fuck knows??

The next time Steve comes home almost two months later, Bucky has spent the day in intensive therapy. They’ve disconnected the neurons from reacting when his trigger words are said, but now they’re in the management portion of therapy- treating them like PTSD symptoms. Since most of the words are commonly used, they want to get Bucky used to hearing them and not reacting negatively.

This particular session is working on the sequence of words that brought him out of cryofreeze during his time with Hydra. These were the most difficult triggers for him to get over because in the small moments between the Chair and when the sequence was finished, he would sometimes break through and realize what he was being charged to do. 

Those bits would stick with him, however brief.

He wasn’t lying when he told Stark that he remembered all his missions.

Even with their calm down techniques at the end of sessions and the extensive trips to the market place, the nights after were never restful. They were always full of nightmares- if he could even get to sleep in the first place.

The night Steve came home, Bucky had fallen into a fitful sleep. Steve entered the hut quietly, so he could surprise the man waiting inside. Noticing that Bucky wasn’t still, Steve moved to grab his shoulder.

As Steve touched him, Bucky woke up with a shout and lashed out with the knife he keeps under his pillow. Steve stepped back, narrowly missing being cut by the blade.

Grabbing Bucky’s wrist, Steve held his shoulder and shouted his name to wake him up.

Coming to, Bucky looked at Steve, then to the knife in his hand. A stricken expression on his face, Bucky dropped the knife, wrenched his wrist from Steve’s hand and ran out of the hut. Running to the lake, Bucky could feel a panic attack coming on. Reaching the shore, he sank down to his knees and grabbed for the ground. For the grass. For anything that could ground him. He could hear Steve coming down the hill towards him.

“Bucky.”

“Don’t say anything,” Bucky gasped. “Just…don’t.”

Steve sat down on the bank a few feet away from Bucky. It was difficult for him to sit there and do nothing. The amount of times he stopped himself from reaching out to the man on his left was astounding.

Bucky kneeled for a while. He doesn’t know how long. Fisting his hand in the grass, he focused on his breathing. God, why is breathing so hard when you’re thinking about it? Using the suggestion from his therapist, he focused on his senses. Tried to connect where he was to the past, so he wouldn’t associate it with his panic.

He could smell the fresh air- the lake, the grass. That singularly unique smell that comes with water. That slight humidity that would suffocate you when you stepped outside in the middle of the day, but was oddly comfortable in the middle of the night. Reminded him of nights spent sleeping on rooftops when their apartment was stifling, and they couldn’t take the heat.

He could hear the wind through the tree tops. Through the grass. He could hear the gentle waves of the lake, lapping on the shore. He smirked when he remembered the times Stevie had tried to come work with him at the docks. Trying to convince him that he wasn’t strong enough for the lifting. That his asthma would stop him. That the guys down at the docks would take one look at his best friend and laugh him home. The irony that Stevie was the strong one now wasn’t lost on him.

He could feel the grass in his hand. Giving him something concrete to focus on, although he knew he was pulling it up. He could feel the cool air brushing past his skin. Cooling the sweat on his skin. Making him shiver as the heat evaporated, along with his initial survival response.

He could taste the earth in the air. The dirt, the plants. He could taste it. There was also something sweet in the air. Something that reminded him of their old neighborhood. After storms, the bakery down the street would always open their doors to cool the place down. A 3-block radius would always taste like sweets after a storm. It was the next best thing to being able to eat the baked goods, which they couldn’t afford.

He could see Steve. Kind, honest, generous, strong Steve. The boy he’s loved for his entire lifetime. The man he broke 70 years of conditioning for. Bucky has loved Captain America. He’s loved the leader of the Howling Commandos. Most importantly, he’s loved the asthmatic, blind, hard of hearing boy with a heart murmur. The tiny man who wouldn’t back down from a fight for what’s right, even before he could fight. When all he could do is try to stay up against the deluge of bullies in New York, whether they were bullying him or anyone else. The man who loved him back, even through the fights in the Patomac. If he hadn’t, Bucky knew he would still be under Hydra’s control.

Instead, he got Steve’s love.

Finally feeling like he could move, Bucky moved to sit on the ground. He didn’t move any closer to Steve, despite how much he wanted to. They sat by the lake for hours, until finally Bucky noticed the rising sun. Giving a sigh, Bucky turned his head toward Steve. The other man looked ethereal in the early morning light. If he hadn’t been wearing his uniform and hadn’t looked like he came straight from a mission, Bucky could have believed they were on vacation. He could pretend that he wasn’t damaged, and Steve didn’t have a hero complex.

Standing up, he turns back to the hut. “Time for breakfast, I guess.”

Steve stood up and made to hug Bucky. Stepping back, Bucky put his arm out. “No! Just…don’t touch me. I’m gonna need some space for a while.”

“Ok, Buck. Whatever you need. Want me to cook?”

Still amazed that Steve was so patient, he relaxed just a bit. As much as his survival instinct screamed at him not to, he was going to allow his boyfriend to take care of him.

Maybe this visit came at the perfect time for a lesson in self care.


	3. Finding a Man Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve get a meal at the marketplace.

After their huge breakfast (seriously, who made THAT many pancakes for two people?), Steve made Bucky go back to bed.

“Buck. You’re going to be worthless in about 3 hours if you don’t go to bed,” Steve made the point as he was directing Bucky towards the bed. “I’m not about to deal with that whiney shit on my time off.”

Shooting a withering glare at Steve, Bucky heaved a huge sigh and tucked himself into bed. “Punk.”

“Jerk”

\------------

Bucky woke…later. He had no idea what time it was. He could see the sun shining through the curtains in his door, so he knew he hadn’t slept the WHOLE day away.

Sitting up and wiping the sleep out of his eyes in an attempt to fully wake, he listened for sounds outside. He could hear all the usual sounds: the lake lapping against the shore, the goats, the children from the village. There was also an extra sound. The rhythmic ‘thunk’ of wood getting chopped.

Smiling, he stood up and stretched. Scratching his belly (when had that started developing?), he stepped outside the hut to see Steve (shirtless, thank god) chopping wood. Steve was always great at getting the things done that Bucky couldn’t while he was visiting. Bucky stood for a few minutes and just watched the muscles in his boyfriend’s back work.

Some days, he still couldn’t believe what a miracle the serum had been. After he was deployed back in the day, he always worried that he’d come home to find that Steve had died. From hypothermia in the winter, from exertion when he somehow managed to get a factory job. From the flu, the measles, polio, pneumonia…really anything that he could have caught.

From some asshole beating him in an alleyway because Steve was too stubborn to know when to quit.

But then Steve had come and rescued him and he had a new batch of worries. They managed to kick some serious ass through Europe. Then the train happened, and Bucky had lost 70 years.

Now he was done. He just wanted to live a simple life with his man. His too-good-for-this-world man.

Getting Steve’s attention, Bucky walked out into the sun. As Steve turned around, its like the universe has finally decided that Bucky had enough hardship. There’s no other reason Steve would look so righteous. So radiant.

Bucky realized that Steve was trying to talk to him. “Buck? Do you wanna go get something to eat? You haven’t had anything since breakfast.”

“Yeah. Only if you clean up first. You smell awful.”

\---------

When they got to the market place, Bucky told Steve to get their food. “I don’t really care. You’re visiting. Get what you want.”

Finding a table after promising to help the basket weaver get some reeds from around the lake, he waited for Steve. He finally saw Steve walking back with a, frankly, huge tray overloaded with food.

“Uh….got enough food there, Stevie?”

Was Steve blushing? “Yeah, well…we can always take it back to your place.”

\----

An hour later, Bucky sat at the table stuffed to the gills. Put his hand on his stomach, massaging the taught surface. Letting out a huge burp, he looked up at Steve.  
Steve who was focused on his belly.

Clearing his throat, he sat up straighter, with a little “ooph” escaping his lips. That seemed to shake Steve out of his reverie. “Did you get enough to eat there, Stevie? I might have gone overboard a little.”

Blushing, Steve replied, “Yeah. I can’t even finish this dessert.” Pushing the plate of pastries across the table, he asked with a hopeful look on his face, “Do you want to finish these?”

Grabbing the plate, Bucky let out another burp. “Yeah, man. Wouldn’t want to waste anything.” Keeping eye contact as he put the first piece in his mouth, moaning a bit. Much to his amusement, Steve blushed and kept his eyes on the pastry in Bucky’s hand.

As he kept stuffing the donuts in his face and his tummy became tauter, Steve’s breathing increased ever so slightly. As Bucky put the last bite in his math, he put his hand on his swollen gut and started massaging again.

Steve looked away as he adjusted his pants.

Bucky smirked. 

Oh, he was going to have so much fun with this.


	4. Bucky Gets a Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky sees a friend and wheels are put in motion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So sorry this took so long to get out to you. I had a family thing I had to go to (and I'm not about to write kink fic around a bunch of septuagenarians), and then work got busy and I lost motivation for life in general because I was exhausted all the time.
> 
> Anyway, new chapter! I'm also super excited to say that @CapriciousKitten has been an amazing beta for this chapter! Go her!!

Once Bucky realized Steve wanted him, no matter how, he started indulging more. Gave himself over to his desires. Initially, Bucky was ashamed of his wants. Of how he’d get aroused after eating more than he should. Of how he’d feel comforted when he was so full he could barely breath.

However…the internet was a wonderful thing. He’d discovered that he wasn’t alone. There were whole communities online dedicated to people who enjoy extra weight on their partners.

Once he’d found that, Bucky had come to peace with it. He let himself be happy.  
Now, he just need to get Steve on the same page.

Turns out, help can come from the oddest places.

It had been 3 months and 12 days since he’d seen Steve last. Not that he was counting. He wasn’t some sort of sap.

As he’s doing chores outside his hut, however, it’s not Steve that comes to visit. He’s feeding the animals when a woman with a limp, her arm in a sling, and bright pink hair comes walking down the hill to him.

Pausing in his work, he squints and finally recognizes the shape. “Здравствуйте, Natalia.”

“Приветствую Cotton-Eyed Joe,” Natasha replied, smirking. “You’re looking…healthy.”  
Blushing, Bucky replied. “That’s what they used to call fat, back in my day. Are you trying to tell me I’m fat?”

“Maybe. But it looks good on you.”

Ever since Bucky had gotten out from cryo, he and Nat had forged a friendship. He didn’t know if it was because they were trained by some of the same people, or if they just had some weird chemistry, but just worked. He was sure that if they were to both go on missions with Steve, they’d drive him nuts. Well…even more than usual.

“Any one looks better than you do right now. What happened?”

Shrugging her good shoulder, Natasha shared, “a deal gone wrong. Car chase that didn’t end well.” Huffing a little laugh, she continued, “you should see the other guy.”

Looking closer at his friend, Bucky noticed that she had some yellowing bruising on her face, a bunch of half healed cuts on her face and arms. “How long have you been here?”

“A couple days.”

Raising his eyebrows, Bucky just glared at her. He didn’t believe that for a minute. She didn’t have the serum and the state of her healing indicated at least a week.  
“…10 days. I was pretty banged up. Enough about me. Wanna grab some dinner?”  
Brightening up, Bucky threw the last of the chicken feed in the grass. “Yeah. Just let me wash up. I’ll be out in 10.”

Washing up in his hut, Bucky took a moment to survey his reflection. Nat was right. He could see the thickening of his shoulders. His one human arm was thicker than it had been. He could see a distinct double chin above his neck. His hips and thighs had gotten wider.

And his belly. From the back you might not be able to tell that he’d gained weight, but from the front… He was round. He couldn’t even call it a belly anymore. It was a true gut. Reminiscent of that grocer who had tried to court Steve’s mom in the 30s. The grocer had needed to have custom suits made because of all the weight in his belly. He could vaguely remember Stevie staring at him. He’d always thought, back then, it was because Steve didn’t want some man moving in on his mom. Now, though… they always say hindsight is 20/20.

If he were honest with himself, which was getting easier, he had had some dirty thoughts about the grocer himself. He’d always been ashamed, and never said anything, but they were there. Now that he knew he wasn’t alone…?

Running his hand over his gut, he soaped up quick. Didn’t want to leave his date waiting, where she could get up to who knows what.

Walking outside his hut with fresh clothes on he saw Natasha petting one of the goats he helped herd. He couldn’t help but laugh out loud when he saw which one it was.  
Turning her neck sharply, Nat gasped a little bit. Narrowing her eyes she asked, “what’s so funny?”

“That goat is named Natasha. She’s very difficult and has a mind of her own.”

Narrowing her eyes, (human) Nat stood up. Laughing, Bucky swung his arm over her shoulders and pointed out one with an odd, almost circular, coloring on its side. “That one is Steve. Headbutts me in the junk if I don’t pay him enough attention.”

“That is the cure to all that ails me.”

Rolling his eyes, Bucky led her away from the goats. “Let's go eat, убийца”

Once they’d sat down and had their drinks, Bucky turned serious. “So, how did you actually get hurt? Is everything still going ok? How is Sam? Wanda? Vis-“

“Just ask, Bucky. You want to know how Steve is.”

Sheepishly, he looked at her. “Yeah.”

“Everyone is fine. We were trying to set up a deal to buy old Hydra files, get them out of the wrong hands. A third party came and crashed the fun. I ended up chasing the guy who ran off with the files in a car and I flipped a couple of times. Lacerations from the seatbelt and glass, dislocated shoulder. The guy I was chasing didn’t fare so well. And I got the files, so all ended well.”

Their food came at this point and Bucky moaned. He’d ordered so much. He couldn’t wait to feel that stuffed feeling. He knew Natasha would give him crap for it, but ultimately, she would let up. Speaking of which…

“Geeze. Did you get enough food there? Is this the first time you’ve eaten all day?”

“Hey. I’m out of the business. I don’t need to watch what I eat anymore.”

“Did you before? I mean, with the serum and all?” Nat seemed genuinely curious. Even though they had similar backgrounds, they never really talked about them. At least, not with other people. When he’d first come back to himself, truly, after cryo, he’d shared enough with her that she knew that they were similar in how they were broken.

“That’s hard to answer. During the war? Not really, although there wasn’t much choice with the rations. And then during…you know… I don’t think I had any actual food? Just enough to keep me functioning. More often than not it was just supplements. And when I was in Romania…I bulked up a bit. But I don’t know if that was the diet or if it was because I was trying to keep myself in running shape. I do know that it felt good to be full- really full- for the first time in ages. Really good.”

There was a moment of silence where they just looked at each other, then Nat’s face softened into a smile. In that moment, Bucky knew he didn’t have to tell her anything more. He knew he didn’t have to share the story of the first night he allowed himself to eat like a regular person. How he’d eaten his first real meal at a restaurant and barely made it back to his apartment before he shoved his hand down his pants and found release. How the first time he’d stuffed himself so bad he’d given himself a belly rub and he came twice in the span of 15 minutes. How he had felt so shameful until he’d come across the weight gain community online.

“And Steve?”

“He doesn’t have a problem with me gaining, if that’s what you mean. He likes it. Like I do.” Shrugging his shoulders, Bucky continued, “Not like he’ll admit it, though. You know how hard it is to get him to admit anything. Especially when it has to do with him getting what he wants or needs.”

Getting the attention of their server, Natasha smirked. “We’ll see about that.” She then proceeded to order one of everything on the dessert menu.

Sighing as their table was filled again, Bucky looked at Nat. “This is why you’re my favorite.”


End file.
